Part 2: The First Night I Chose Myself

Lam Hao called me eleven times.

I watched his name appear on the screen until it stopped meaning anything.

On the twelfth call, I turned off my phone.

That night, I stayed at my best friend Linh’s apartment.

The moment she opened the door and saw the suitcase beside me, she didn’t ask what happened.

She simply stepped aside.

—Come in.

That almost made me cry.

Not because I was sad.

Because someone had finally noticed that I needed somewhere to rest.

The next morning, I woke up at ten.

No alarm.

No messages asking me to pay something.

No dirty clothes waiting beside the washing machine.

No man complaining because there was nothing to eat.

Linh placed a bowl of hot noodles in front of me.

—Eat.

I stared at it.

There was beef.

Vegetables.

An egg.

A ridiculous lump formed in my throat.

Linh frowned.

—Why are you crying?

I laughed while wiping my eyes.

—Last night’s dinner was chicken bones.

Her chopsticks stopped.

Twenty minutes later, she knew everything.

When I finished, Linh said only one sentence.

—Don’t go back.

I nodded.

—I won’t.

My phone turned on.

Thirty-seven messages.

The first ones were confused.

“Where are you?”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

Then irritated.

“Stop being childish.”

“Come home.”

By morning, the tone had changed.

“Did I do something wrong?”

And finally:

“There’s nothing to eat at home.”

I stared at that last message.

Three years together.

And that was what he missed first.

Not me.

Dinner.

I blocked him.

Then I went to work.

For the first time in months, I bought breakfast before entering the office.

My manager called me into her room that afternoon.

I expected another impossible assignment.

Instead, she closed the door.

—Are you all right?

I froze.

—Why?

—You’ve been doing the work of three people for six months.

She pushed a document toward me.

—The company isn’t firing you.

I stared at her.

She smiled.

—We’re promoting you.

I almost thought I’d heard incorrectly.

The position came with a forty-percent raise and responsibility for a new project team.

For months, I had been terrified of losing my job.

Meanwhile, the company had been preparing to give me a better one.

I signed.

Three days later, Lam Hao appeared downstairs.

He looked terrible.

Wrinkled shirt.

Messy hair.

Dark circles under his eyes.

For some strange reason, seeing him like that didn’t make me happy.

It just made everything clearer.

—Why did you block me?

—Because we broke up.

He stared at me.

—Over fried chicken?

I nearly laughed.

Of course he thought it was about chicken.

—No.

—Then what?

—The chicken was simply the last thing.

He stepped closer.

—You could have told me you wanted some.

I looked at him.

—That’s exactly the problem.

His eyebrows tightened.

—I shouldn’t have to tell a thirty-year-old man that the woman paying his rent and working until nine might need dinner.

He looked embarrassed.

Then defensive.

—I was going to order more.

—With whose money?

Silence.

I had my answer.

He grabbed my wrist.

—Come home. I’ll change.

I pulled away.

—Find a job first.

His face hardened.

—So this is about money.

—No.

I shook my head.

—It’s about responsibility.

—I supported you before!

—For how long?

He stopped.

I remembered.

Twenty-three days.

During my first month after graduation, my salary had been delayed.

Lam Hao paid most of our expenses that month.

For three years afterward, whenever we argued about money, he mentioned those twenty-three days.

As though they entitled him to a lifetime of being carried.

—I’ve supported you for fourteen months —I said.

He looked away.

—I just need more time.

—Take all the time you want.

I stepped back.

—But you won’t take it using my life anymore.

His expression changed.

For the first time, fear appeared.

—You really don’t love me anymore?

That question hurt more than I expected.

Because the answer wasn’t simple.

Maybe part of me still loved the university boy with the guitar.

The boy who split one egg with me.

But that boy had disappeared long before I finally walked out.

—I don’t know.

I answered truthfully.

—But I know I don’t want this life anymore.

I walked away.

Two weeks passed.

Then my landlord called.

—Miss, your boyfriend says you’ve moved permanently. Are you ending the lease?

The lease was in my name.

So were the deposit and utilities.

I looked at the calendar.

—Yes.

There was silence.

—Then Mr. Lam will need to leave by the end of the month.

I closed my eyes.

For one second, guilt returned.

Old habits die slowly.

Then I remembered the fever.

The bills.

The empty refrigerator.

The chicken bones.

—Okay.

That evening, Lam Hao exploded.

He called from another number.

—You’re throwing me onto the street?

—No.

—The landlord told me I have ten days!

—Then you have ten days to find somewhere else.

—Where am I supposed to go?

I nearly said, “Come to Linh’s place.”

I nearly solved his problem again.

Instead, I stayed silent.

Lam Hao’s voice became colder.

—You’ve changed.

I looked around my new room.

I had rented a small studio near work.

There was only a bed, a desk, two plants and a tiny kitchen.

But every object inside had been paid for without resentment.

—Yes.

I smiled.

—I have.

He hung up.

A month later, I heard through mutual friends that Lam Hao had found a job.

Not the prestigious position he always said he deserved.

A junior sales position.

Ordinary salary.

Long hours.

For the first time in more than a year, he had to wake up before seven.

Apparently, he complained constantly.

Then one rainy evening, I walked out of my office and found him waiting beneath the awning.

He looked different.

Cleaner.

Thinner.

Tired in the way working people are tired.

In his hands was a paper bag.

—I won’t bother you long.

He handed it to me.

Inside was fried chicken.

A complete meal.

Every piece untouched.

I looked at him.

His eyes were red.

—I understand now.

I said nothing.

—After you left, I kept thinking you were cruel.

He laughed bitterly.

—Then I started working again.

His fingers tightened.

—One night I got home after ten. I was exhausted and hungry. There was nothing in the refrigerator.

He looked at the bag.

—And suddenly I remembered how many times you came home like that while I was lying on the couch.

For once, there was no excuse.

No request for another chance.

Just shame.

—I’m sorry.

I believed him.

But believing an apology doesn’t mean reopening a door.

—Thank you.

I handed the bag back.

His expression fell.

—You don’t want it?

I smiled faintly.

—I’ve already eaten.

Those three words seemed to break something inside him.

Because perhaps, finally, he understood.

I wasn’t waiting for him anymore.

Not for food.

Not for money.

Not for affection.

Not for change.

I walked into the rain.

Six months later, my team’s project became the company’s largest account of the year.

At the celebration dinner, my manager raised her glass.

—To our new department director.

Everyone applauded.

I laughed, embarrassed.

My phone vibrated.

A message from an unknown number.

It was Lam Hao.

There was a photograph attached.

An old rice cooker.

The first one we had bought after graduation.

Underneath, he had written:

“I finally moved out today. I found this while packing. I wanted to throw it away, but I remembered when we used to divide one egg between us. I think that was the last time I truly deserved you.”

I stared at the message for a long moment.

Then I typed:

“I hope you take care of yourself.”

I sent it.

No anger.

No regret.

No invitation to return.

Then I deleted the conversation and put my phone away.

The waiter placed a plate in front of me.

Roasted chicken.

Golden potatoes.

Vegetables.

My colleagues were laughing around the table.

I suddenly remembered that empty box from six months earlier.

Those few clean bones had once felt like the most humiliating dinner of my life.

Now I understood they had actually given me something.

An ending.

Sometimes a relationship doesn’t end because of betrayal.

Sometimes there is no dramatic secret.

No other woman.

No enormous scandal.

Sometimes love dies quietly beneath unpaid bills, ignored exhaustion, selfish habits and thousands of small moments when one person chooses themselves while expecting the other to keep sacrificing.

And sometimes all it takes is one empty dinner box to finally make you see it.

That night, I ate until I was full.

Then I went home.

To my own apartment.

To my own bed.

To a life where nobody was lying on my back anymore.

And for the first time in three years, I didn’t feel lonely when I opened the door and found no one waiting for me.

I felt free.

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